HR FORUM

Heal Thyself

Resolving office disputes with self-mediation techniques

when true emotional conflict (the bad kind of conflict) exists between employees, conflict coaching to help them self-mediate is a healthy and useful alternative resolution technique. Mediation, informal or formal, requires a third party while self-mediation allows those in a conflict to use structured and practiced dialogue to resolve issues between themselves.

There are some key elements to include in every coaching session leading up to self-mediation.

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Before starting, establish ground rules for the self-mediation. Plan to meet in a confidential, neutral, and private place at a time when there will be no distractions for either party. Also agree to stick with the dialogue—neither party should intimidate the other or shut down during the conversation. Finally, agree that neither of you will exploit the genuine conciliatory gestures that the other makes to move toward resolution.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

An effective way to instill confidence that an employee will be able to bring resolution to his or her conflict is to role play, specifically, role playing what William Ury, author of “Getting Past No,” calls “building a golden bridge.” This is a negotiation technique giving the other party a way to realize some of their unmet and perhaps unspoken needs. Role-playing dialogue helps explore many scenarios, minimizing surprise and unintended emotional responses.

Owners, associate doctors, managers—any objective and neutral employee—can act as a conflict coach, provide a strong and effective coaching session, and help struggling employees involved in conflict practice healthy, proactive, alternative conflict resolution techniques.

— Ginamarie Wells, Ph.D.

Ginamarie Wells is senior director of client services at Cleinman Performance Partners, a business consultancy specializing in the development of high-performing optometry practices. ©2015 Cleinman Performance Partners, Inc.